feat(orchestrator): add an update path to the onboard re-run gate

[shoto290]

Summary

• Re-running the project setup no longer forces you back through the whole questionnaire.
• When a setup already exists, you now pick between refreshing it, changing your answers, or leaving it alone.
• Refreshing pulls in the latest shared rules while keeping every answer you gave before.

Changes

flowchart LR
  subgraph BEFORE["before"]
    B1["existing found"] --> B2["Keep as-is"]
    B1 --> B3["Reconfigure"]
  end
  subgraph AFTER["after"]
    A1["existing found"] --> A2["+ Update"]
    A1 --> A3["~ Modify"]
    A1 --> A4["Keep as-is"]
  end

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