So, this was my previous commit history, cached just a few days before the time of writing:
And guess what, I removed my high school email from my Github Account, without realising that two-thirds of my commit history would be essentially gut too. Having graduated for 2 years already, the web administrator refused to let me restore the expired email for a brief moment.
So now I only have like 400 commits on my profile. But everything does make sense here, and at least I'm glad that I saved up evidence and can tell you why that happened. And to be fair, having less commits does make me look more suitable for senior managerial roles, which appeal to me more than purely implementing things that I don't get to plan about in advance.