fix: keep follow request badge in sync

[saurabhhhcodes]

Closes #1002

Summary

• derive the pending-request badge from the current received-request list
• remove accepted or rejected requests from local state after confirmation
• avoid stale concurrent refetches overwriting the badge count

Validation

• git diff --check
• npx eslint components/FollowActivityPanel.tsx
• npx tsc --noEmit

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